It's been a long time since I last logged in, I know. One could say that a *lot* has happened during this time, although the main reason would still be that I have been spending 95% of my free time playing World of Warcraft. On occasion I find myself drifting out, thanks to my non-WoW playing friends.

Thanks to ~Famarii I discovered a highly amusing blog by the name of "Hyperbole and a Half". I spent quite a bit of time tonight laughing my way through the entries, and ~hisuikousei also introduced me to a nifty dragon animation that perhaps many of you have already seen, given its age and the number of favourites it has already accumulated.



But if there is any deviation that you should be thanking for this sudden burst of activity, it is the following, because it appealed to me so much that I just *had* to log in and add it to my own favourites.



(I stumbled across it whilst checking out ~hisuikousei's favourites to see if she had added anything else of interest... almost like old times again.)

I checked some of my notes, felt compelled to reply to one for the chance to communicate online like a decent human being once more, and then realised how much I miss the self-expression of dA. Not necessarily just through art, but the overall community and culture as a whole, in which I feel comfortable to express myself in words exactly the way I wish to. Such as typing long, convoluted posts like this in a strange style of formality.

I haven't properly checked the rest of my message centre yet since I am baffled by dA's continuously changing layout and I don't exactly feel the 'right' sort of connection with art right now to answer anything as the artist of my own work, if that makes any sense.

On the subject of creating art, my absence from the drawing scene has been compounded by the recent refusal of my tablet to cooperate with my laptop. I believe it may be a problem concerning tablet drivers, especially since I have not used it for half a year or so. Or perhaps disuse has physically affected it?

At any rate, despite my obsession with a certain game, I have not stopped questioning my place in the world, and all the things that have happened in the past half year or so have changed me, so much so that I am not certain that the creation of art holds much importance in my life right now. Thanks to dA, I have gained an enormous appreciation of art and the effort which goes into it, and that is something I will treasure. But the demands of 'real life' call, and by necessity I must change to meet them. More responsibilities... more change. In short, do not expect many, if any, updates to my gallery in the near future.

Drawing, creating... sometimes I feel as though I did it because I thought it was the only think I *could* do. It is difficult to explain. But there is more to life than art. And the direction in which my studies are heading... well, there are so many *other* things to be learned as well. And I don't want to feel like I am drawing/creating only because others 'expect' me to.

Perhaps it is that I am still trying to find what it is that I love doing... or perhaps I have already found it without realising it. Self-exploration has always played a large part in my life, perhaps too great... and I am driven by some urge to 'understand', and yet I do not know what it is which I want to understand. 'Everything', I suppose.

Anyhow, I did not expect this post to turn out the way it did (as usual with these 2am posts where I am hardly in a coherent frame of mind, more like some melancholic person 'drunk' on tiredness), but when I let my thoughts roam freely they tend to turn to such sombre topics as these. Perhaps I have developed some sense of responsibility, to admit to things that others may not wish to hear. But I feel as though I owe it to you all, who have stuck with me this long, to speak honestly, if quite belatedly. Of course I may still log in from time to time, but don't count on much activity.

Take care, all!