Random thoughts

I got rather ^#&$ed off at WoW last night, which was probably actually a good thing in retrospect (although it was extremely embarrassing and made my ego sore at the time, lol). Breaking the illusion of the game being a random happy obsession paradise was probably a good thing, because I have managed to wrestle back a bit more of my 'former' life again. I don't necessarily say 'better' though, because it still involves me spending most of my free time ensconced in front of a computer- just that it's dA on my screen instead.

So I did some rather belated housekeeping of paper-adoptables this afternoon, and somehow ended up actually looking a bit more closely at my message inbox. And replying to stuff. Getting caught up reading random things, people's journals, taking a look at new deviations, replying to stuff... it was actually kinda nice. And it feels natural, normal... and here, there are friends. Lots of people I can get along with, and even if people are almost strangers I feel perfectly comfortable talking to them. dA feels like home.

Yes, I was/am obsessed with WoW, but in some ways I was content to let that obsession run its course (as if I had any hope of doing otherwise), because WoW was so different to anything I had ever experienced before. I always *wanted* to see what a multiplayer online game was like, always wanted to share a gaming experience with more people than just my lonely self... but at the same time, it was also a good 'social' experience in general. Getting to see what the people in other places are like. Learning to deal with people who aren't necessarily so kind or patient or understanding as many of the people I know on dA. Or learning how to just grit one's teeth and ignore some random puffed-up arrogant #$*$ yelling obscenities at their own team... people who seem to get #&$#ed at just about every little thing, blah blah. WoW is/was cool, but in the end I realise that I can be more of myself here rather than there. In retrospect, I realise that in some way I was trying to pretend... some sort of defence mechanism, I suppose. I enjoyed it, but was not fully myself.

I suppose another thing is the sheer amount of experience needed to get from level 70 to level 80. I simply can't spare the time to do that and nothing else. Uni has started once more, and I've barely done a shred of extra study at all. Last night was #&$#ing annoying, but I'll accept it as a good thing to be forcibly made less obsessed with WoW. I don't know where things will go from here, but I know there can be no middle path. Either I play it obsessively... or not at all. That's just the way everything is with me; moderation is a foreign concept to me. >__<; But, we will see.

For now, I am content with the way things are.